Make a Monkey Out of Me
by Tsume Yuki
Summary: Sensei wasn't too impressed when I said my dream was to see my thirtieth birthday. In fact, come to think of it, neither were the rest of my classmates. But hey, I wasn't the usual child. Getting reborn with all your memories does that to a girl. SI
1. Prologue,

**Make a Monkey Out of Me  
><strong>私自身から猿を作る

_x_

**Prologue  
><strong>猿飛葉歌  
><em>Sarutobi Kayo<em>

"Kayo-chan! Kayo-chan!"

This infant neck is so weak.

A scowl no doubt crossed my face as I pushed at my trembling arms, determined to raise my body up and start moving across the floor, baby body be damned. Yep, that's right. Baby body. Four months old to be exact.

I hated it.

There'd been so much confusion, so much uncertainty. At first, all I knew was darkness and claustrophobia. Limbs crammed together into a cushioned little cave, the most predominant sound the heart-beat that echoed my own. Or was it I who was the echo? Who knows, but it doesn't change the fact I could hear a heart-beat, that it was all I knew for an uncountable amount of time.

And then sounds, sounds from outside. Word's I'd never heard before, sounds, muffled by the walls of my squishy prison. I kicked, fruitlessly I might add because my limbs certainly didn't seem to want to respond to any commands I gave them.

And then, birth.

Sometimes I think that the reason the human brain doesn't remember things before a set age is because it would lead to a traumatized race of Homo sapiens and then we'd never get anything done. The pressure that'd been put on my skull, twisting the bones in my head that would eventually merge together to create a nicely shaped cranium? Not pleasant. Let's not get started on how awkward it was getting my limbs out after my overly large head. Not great at all.

Of course, my confusion over the situation I was in soon exerted itself after the physical comfort had passed. Mainly because up until that point all I could remember was playing about the nearby river with my younger brother while I was on holiday. It wasn't until I had my first nap -couldn't really call it sleep when only four hours of shut-eye happened- and dreamed of water filling my lungs that I realized what'd happened. That the memories came back. Noah had tripped into the river, and I'd jumped in after him, because even in his late teens, Noah had not been a strong swimmer. I could barely recall dragging him to the bank before I was caught up in the rapids, which were a hell of a lot stronger than they'd looked.

Well, I'd at least not died for now reason.

.

The first month of my new life was horrible. It was embarrassing to have to rely on everyone else. To have my nappy changed. To be breast-fed. It was cringe worthy, but I'd put up with it. In what could now be considered my past life, I'd had an amazing tolerance level when it came to something that annoyed me, I held the patience of a saint. It came with growing up with two younger siblings and a dad with a bad sense of humour.

But even this was trying on me.

My sense of smell was far more powerful than anything I'd ever experienced in my previous life, and while I was inclined to accept the fact it was because it was the first of the senses for all babies to develop, it still seemed strange that I could tell what was cooking from the other side of the house a minute after it started. My sight was still developing, but by four months, it'd gotten to the point where I could actually focus on the faces around me. This was how I came to recognise the people that made up my new family.

I was an unusually quiet baby, and it seemed that my parents took that as an incentive to talk to me whenever they could spare the time. Which was surprisingly often. The man who was now my father was out of the house on a consistent schedule as far as I could tell, between my maddening naps that couldn't quite be controlled. Mother was obviously on maternity leave. Her hair was a light brown and long, the strands would often fall within my grasp, and I treated them as gently as I could. Half out of common curtsey, and half because I needed to train my muscles on the whole 'gentle grip' thing. I needed to train my muscles on a lot of things actually, come to think about it.

There was a lot I needed to do, but at the very top of that list sat the all important 'grow up'. The single thing would solve a lot of my problems, but it also took it's sweet time in happening.

Sadly, there was nothing I could do about that.

What I could do about one of my problems, was learn the language. It was strange, I'd never heard the words before. Honestly, it sounded like waffle to me. There was only one word that I did recognise instantly. 'Asuma'. I knew it from the manga I read, so I guessed it was safe to conclude one of my older siblings was called Asuma.

It had been after a few days of careful observation that I came to the conclusion that it was the younger of my older brothers that bared that name. So, I'd guess I was somewhere in Japan, or at least, near the country for that name to be used. It'd explain the language and my significant lack of understanding.

"Come on Kayo-chan!" The boisterous cries of my older brother rung out from beside me as I put more pressure on my uncooperative limbs, forcing my body to start wiggling forwards. It wasn't quite a crawl, but it was blissful movement. Finally I was no longer under the restrictions of whatever spot I'd been placed on the floor, unless I could roll one way or the other. And usually I was stopped before I got to far. But now, now I had free movement.

I stopped after a few seconds, limbs already tired by the exertion I'd put them through. My older brother of perhaps four or five years, was now blathering words too fast for me to catch any other than my name. I'd only just gotten a grasp of 'come-on' and I'd thought that a rather grand accomplishment.

As expected, my parents came rushing in, Asuma toddling after them on his unsteady legs, Hogoyama still blathering on far too fast for me to understand. But he no longer held my attention.

Instead I was looking at the bleary form of my father as he neared, staring at the red and white hat sat upon his head. I knew that hat. I remember watching a show with it in, reading about a manga with a blond child declaring he'd one day wear that hat.

Slowly, I considered Asuma, my brother, and then Hogoyama, my older brother, and then my father. Who I could probably assume to be named Hiruzen...

Suddenly, the weapons in the house made sense. They weren't decorations at all. They were actual weapons. As it, actually used to kill people weapons. Because my parents -or at the very least my father, though I was pretty sure mum was one too- were ninja.

It all clicked, and of course with this body that lacked any form of emotional stability, the first thing I did was start balling my eyes out.

* * *

><p><strong>So... I've been reading a lot of SI's at the moment, and there are some scarily good ones... I wanted to have a go at it myself, and I haven't seen a Sarutobi one yet... This'll probably end up an ObitoxOC, but it's not set in stone.<strong>

**Edit; The helpful _AyumiUK_ has given me a hand with the OC's name, so it is now correct with Kayo, roughly translating to Leaf song. So, yeah. Thankies for that.**

**Thoughts?**

**Tsume  
>xxx<strong>


	2. Chapter 1- In Which I meet P, P, & P

**Make a Monkey Out of Me  
><strong>私自身から猿を作る

_x_

**Chapter 1  
><strong>_In Which I meet P, P, & P; a Pervert, a Profiteer and a Problem!_

_x_

I was a year old when I finally managed to get my new father, the Third freaking Hokage, to take me to the office with him. I'd been toddling along on my feet since I was seven months old, and with that ability came a great freedom. I spent most of my time waddling after Asuma and Hogoyama, listening attentively whenever one of them spoke so that I could continue to expand my understanding of the language. Or rather, my lack of it.

Hogoyama, I learnt, was five years old, making him four years my senior. Asuma and I had been born very close together, eleven months apart in actuality. I'd been a little confused at first, certain I'd been born in summer, instead of the 12th of September that marked my birth now. It wasn't until summer actually came around that I reprimanded my statement.

Summer was hot. Too hot.

I now lived in the land of eternal summer, a place with only two settings. Warm, and warmer. I'd been born in the cool months, and that just didn't sit well in my head. Having been an proud British National before hand, the winter of Fire country had been a British summer. A good British summer.

It was disgustingly hot, swelteringly so. The fact my body was genetically able to stand the heat and work through it didn't mean I couldn't appreciate the fact that, had I been in my old body, I'd probably have been a puddle on the floor by now. A stinky, sweaty one at that.

"Dada, work?"

Hiruzen Sarutobi looked down at me with a warm smile slowly growing across his lips, kindly ignoring my grubby little hands pawing across the hem of his white Hokage robes. Somewhere behind me, Biwako sighed but I ignored it. I'd been trying for days to get out and about, to get Hiruzen to take me to the office with him so I could meet the rest of the world.

Apparently, it was common for the child of a high-class ninja to remain home with the mother for a good year, at least. That way, they made less of a target whenever someone wanted revenge against the parent. Or, that's what I'd been able to sum up from Biwako's carefully worded 'the bad guys Daddy fights might get you if you leave the house'. Id' been told that since I'd been able to toddle, but I was determined. They couldn't keep me here forever. Even Asuma had been going out recently, and Hogoyama was at the academy already. I was not getting left behind, and that meant going out to retrieve information.

I hadn't been able to piece much together yet. The Second Great Ninja War was still going on, but it was rapidly approaching its end. That was good news. Very good news.

Bad news was that it'd be starting back up before I was ten in the form of the Third Great Ninja War. So I needed information. And I was still at a young enough age that they wouldn't be as careful as they should be around me, because they believe I can't process what their words mean. That was good for me. So good.

"I'm sure one day won't hurt Biwako."

The low hum of annoyance from Biwako said otherwise, but was drowned out by my excited cheer, arms thrust upwards in order to be plucked off of my feet. No way was I walking all that way when I could be carried. It gave me a better vantage point. Not that the Hokage Tower was far from here, I could see the building from my bedroom window. Asuma's room faced the mountain, which looked significantly weird with only three faces atop it.

Hands came around my way too small ribs, lifting me up till I was propped against Hiruzen's hip, one hand clawing at the collar of his shirt to keep my balance.

"We'll be back by tea time all going well."

"Ba-bye Mama."

That was another thing, I hated slurring my speech, but my lack of control when it came to my tongue made it almost impossible to speak coherently enough. Regardless though, I'd won this battle to see the outside world for once. No doubt Biwako would be stepping up her game to keep me safe and far away from the majority of the population after today. Considering a good number of them carried sharp, pointy objects and tended to jump at loud noises, that didn't surprise me too much. Hell, if it was my child, I'd probably be doing the same thing. But, that's not what was happening, so off to the Hokage office I go.

.

I'd been given my own seat and a set of colouring books to keep me entertained. Thankfully, these colouring books came with kanji included. I'd been sneaking into the reading lessons that both Asuma and Hogoyama got, so I at least had somewhere to start regarding the strange symbols. And considering there were simple pictures of say, a dog, with the kanji underneath, I was making slow progress with my reading. Oh, it was killing me to go so slow, but I was making progress at the very least.

So far, three ninja had been by, and all of them had given me curious looks, but said nothing to the Hokage as they went about their business. They were, after all, professionals. However, the fourth visitor did catch my interest.

Towering over Hiruzen with a explosion of spiky white hair, a bear of a man who could only be Jiraiya of the Sannin came in through the window, grinning as he did so. And behind him- I blinked. There was a shock of bright blond hair, followed by two darker colours, as what could only be Team Jiraiya came in through the office.

I abandoned my colouring book instantly, toddling over to get a better look at the trio of students. Jiraiya's students. Which meant that the blond had to be Minato Namikaze.

"So, is this the squirt?" Jiraiya was clearly addressing Hiruzen, but he wasn't looking at him. Instead, those dark eyes were focused on me, a sharp intelligence behind them and a curious tilt to his lips. And then, he started dancing. Jiraiya's introduction was truly a thing of beauty, hopping from one foot to the other as his students groaned and Hiruzen rolled his eyes.

As Jiraiya finished up, shimmying his hands back and forth before him, a grin split across my face as I adjusted my stance in an attempt to copy him. No one seemed to realize what I was doing, until I jabbed my thumb towards my chest, grinning. It was at this point that Hiruzen let out a pained groan, but I continued regardless.

"Leaf," I mused, making a failed attempt to draw the shape in question before me in the air. Twirling around on one foot and only just managing to stay standing, even if there was a precarious wobble in there, I thrust one hand forwards in Jiraiya's direction, wiggling my fingers about as I did so.

"Song! Me Kayo!"

And Jiraiya actually cackled.

I was scooped up into strong arms, a grinning mug but inches away from my own as Jiraiya's too dark eyes bore into mine. Thinking on it, I was still unsure of my eye colour, or my general appearance. Though if one were to judge by one's brothers, I was going to be tanned with coal like eyes and hair in a somewhat similar shade. Either dark brown or black. The strands were fluffy but at this moment in time, too short for me to get a hold of to take a gander at it.

"You know sensei, the first two were a great disappointment, but this one!" Jiraiya hefted me effortlessly higher into the air, and for one moment, I felt like Simba from the Lion King. My face probably reflected the same confusion.

"This one is destined for greatness. I think I might actually want to teach this one."

"Oi!" Minato was glaring up at his sensei in mock hurt, his fellow students looking far too bored to have taken any of Jiraiya's words seriously. Clearly they'd had him as a sensei for a while.

"Take hold of this magnificent squirt while I make my report."

That was how I found myself once held against Minato Namikaze's chest. I took one look at his bright blond hair and figured it was best to play the baby. So, I grabbed a fistful of his bangs and shoved them into my mouth. The horrified cries of both the blond and his team-mates, coupled with Jiraiya's laughter was music to my ears.

* * *

><p>I was two years old when I met Danzō. It was not a pleasant meeting. Especially given the circumstances.<p>

It was three weeks after Asuma had started training alongside Hogoyama and my mother, whilst I watched from the sidelines, 'too young' to be taking part just yet. But that was just it. I didn't have such a luxury as 'too young', not in this universe. It was defend yourself or die, and I was intending to do just that.

So I'd screamed and cried and screamed some more until finally Biwako had relented and agreed to let me in on one lesson to see how I did. Her eyes had narrowed when my own instantly dried up at her surrender, but she'd stuck by her words. Perhaps she'd wanted me to see how hard and painful training was, and thought that my two year old self would get bored or hurt and decide not to keep trying.

And had I been any other two year old, I'd probably have done just that. But no, I was an adult. I knew the pain would leave eventually, and walking away would not see me better myself.

It was the day before I met Danzō that I put Asuma on his back after flipping him over my hip, even if I'd stumbled magnificently when I did so. He'd started sniffling right away, even as Biwako began healing the not yet formed bruises he'd received. Biwako had given me a considering look, but said nothing as she shooed me over to Hogoyama, who seemed more than happy to show me a few more katas he was learning at the academy. I might not have remembered them all, or perfectly, but there were a few I could run my stubble little limbs through for now.

.

Sitting in Hiruzen's office, once again on the floor but this time with a clear sheet of paper, I was happily scribbling away, doing my best to create a picture of Jiraiya for his upcoming birthday -because no one can say no to a child that's done their best to draw you a pretty picture of yourself- even if it was less than perfect. Half by choice, half by insistence. My motor skills still weren't as controlled as I'd enjoyed in my previous life, but the rather large nose and accompanying wart wasn't due to that. In fact, that was just for my own secret giggles, not that Jiraiya needed to know that. I was rather looking forwards to him trying to say he loved the image when it would in reality be any feeling but. You know, just to have him avoid hurting my feelings. It was going to be a sweet moment indeed.

I'd been so focused on the drawing that I'd not really paid attention to the next person to walk into the office, until they spoke that was.

"Are you not going to remove the child Hiruzen?"

It wasn't just my head that snapped towards the noise, my entire body spun around and without really thinking about it I ended up throwing the crayon that'd been in my hand at the source. Danzō Shimura stared at me with one unreadable eye. Evidently he'd already lost the other one, but I hadn't really paid much attention to this man, past the facts of his future demise that is.

"It's not nice to throw things Little Leaf."

Turning my gaze towards Hiruzen, I frowned, eyebrows no doubt scrunching together over my nose. It was difficult, to come across as just a smart baby, and for that, Asuma was my marker. The second he did it, I followed not long after. Only, I was quicker at it. Mental stuff that was. I still had the body of a two year old, no matter how much I hated it I couldn't just throw it away now, could I?

"Not nice words," I murmured back, turning a glare on Danzō. No doubt my baby fat had morphed what would have been a fearsome expression into something that was borderline silly.

"The child has good reflexes Hiruzen."

"That child has a name Danzō."

The scarred man gave a hum in the back of his throat, giving me one more look over as my insides froze. He couldn't do anything to me. Could he? No, of course not, not with who my father is. I was perhaps the safest in regards to internal kidnap, because he'd rip the village apart looking for me. I didn't have to worry about Danzō. At least, not right now anyway.

"I'll set up a silencing seal."

And that was the end of that meeting for me.

* * *

><p>By far the worst though, of all the people I met before the academy, there was one that would have the biggest of impacts ever. I didn't realize it at the time, but I had just taken the tapestry of this world and thrown it into a complete flux. Ripped it all apart with that single, loose thread I just so happened to grab a hold of. I didn't mean to, and I probably wouldn't have gone anywhere near it at the time if I'd known how difficult it'd make things.<p>

But, it still happened.

.

It was four weeks before the entrance ceremony to the academy, and thus, three weeks before my fifth birthday. I was in the market place with Biwako and Asuma, the latter of whom was trying to swindle our mother into buying him some form of candy or the other. I, meanwhile, was observing.

There was a tense sense of peace surrounding the vast majority of the population, what with the war having been finished for the past three months. I didn't know when it would start back up again, only that it would be back by the time I turn ten. I was most certainly not looking forwards to it. And from the stiff posture of some of the rookie ninja, it was evident that tensions were still running high.

The only people that seemed oblivious to it were the civilians, who went about their everyday lives as usual, if not with a little extra cheer about them.

As my eyes were scanning the crowds, they stopped on a small group of children that were perhaps my age. I'd never seen them before, and as I'd been introduced to most of the clan heirs around my age, it wasn't hard to deduce them as either civilian children looking to enter the ninja academy, or orphans aiming for the same thing. Regardless, I'd never really met any children around my age, not ones that hadn't been picked out especially for me to talk to based on the fact their parents were trustworthy.

Taking a quick look back at Biwako, who was trying to explain to Asuma just why he couldn't have seven different chocolate bars all at once, I made my way over, ducking and weaving through the crowded streets, well aware there would probably be one ANBU at least following me now. Hiruzen wouldn't leave me without I guess, so I should always expect some form of protection hanging over my head now that he had the shinobi to spare.

.

Approaching the children, I pushed one of them aside, interested in getting to the centre of the crowd, to see what had these children so fascinated that they'd gather around and remain in place, snickering at whatever had their attention.

Knowing my luck it'd be some dirty magazine or something, and then I'd have to explain to Biwako why I had been looking at it, which would no doubt be a fun conversation. However, it was not.

I kinda wish it had been, simply because that wouldn't have seen such a huge rock drop into the centre of my stomach.

Instead, there were three boys, perhaps a year or two older than me, stood around teasing another boy who'd clearly been punched a few times till he was on the floor. It wasn't just the fact they'd beaten the kid up though, it was that they were loudly exclaiming that he had no parents to come and rescue him from them, and that they clearly hadn't loved him enough to make it back off of whatever mission they'd died on.

Blood boiled in my veins and before I knew what I was doing, my fist had slammed into one of the boy's nose, resulting in a sharp crack and a sudden waterfall of blood. I'd promised Biwako that I wouldn't use any of the taijutsu she'd been teaching me against civilians, but as far as I was concerned, three older boys against a younger one, bullying a younger one, was an exception to that rule.

Spinning on my heels, I drove my elbow into the second boy's stomach, my movements unhindered while I still held the advantage of surprise. The final boy only just managed to stumble back before I'd grabbed his arm, forcing him to the floor in an arm-lock as I sat upon his back.

"Don't start a fight if you're not going to finish it," I snapped, putting a bit more pressure on the boy's arm till he cried out in pain. "And if you're going to bully someone younger than you with more people, then you can't get upset when someone else joins in."

The boy who's nose I'd broken had already run off, tears in the corner of his eyes last I saw him. Meanwhile, the one who'd taken my elbow to his stomach was only just getting his breath back, still half curled in on himself. But he too looked like he was more than happy to leave. All the other children had dispersed when I'd thrown the first punch, no doubt unwilling to be caught in the cross-fire.

"I'll leave, I'll leave!" The boy under me yelped as I 'accidentally' put a bit more pressure on his arm and I scowled.

"Apologize first!"

"I'm sorry!"

He was gone the second I rolled off him, pulling his winded accomplish along in the process.

.

After standing around for a few seconds, just to make sure the three troublemakers wouldn't return out of nowhere with older and stronger friends, I finally relaxed my guard, turning to the boy that was still sat on the floor.

The tear tracks that'd previously formed two perfect lines down his cheeks were smudged now, the boy having swiped at them in an attempt to clear away the evidence of his crying.

As politely as possible, I did not mention them, instead holding out my hand to help him up, waiting patiently as I did so. It took a few moments, but the boy did eventually notice my extended arm, blinking in surprise before the smallest of smile began to stretch across his face.

"You okay?" I asked as four pudgy fingers gripped at my own, a thumb wrapping around my hand as I hauled the boy to his feet.

"Of course! That won't keep me down!" A brilliant grin lit up boy's face and he rubbed sheepishly at the back of his neck with his free hand. Then, he seemed to realize he was still holding onto mine, because he dropped my limb like an explosive tag, a brilliant shade of red decorating his cheeks.

"Yeah, well- Hey! That was taijutsu! Are you at the ninja academy?"

Snorting, I rolled my eyes as I jammed my hands into the pockets of my cargo pants, teeth pulling at the dry skin of my lips as I looked off to a side. Biwako will probably have noticed my absence by now, I'm no doubt going to be in a lot of trouble.

"I join this year," I murmured, running a hand through my bangs -chestnut brown hair, like Hiruzen's- as I looked back at the boy. He was grinning even wider now, eyes dancing to and from my face in an almost nervous shuffle.

"Yeah, me too! My name's Uchiha Obito, and I'm gonna be Hokage some day!" I faltered.

Only slightly, but it was there. Obito Uchiha? This skinny little kid looked nothing like man that would try to force his vision on the world. He looked just like every other boy to me. Perhaps that's what made it so much easier to smile back at the boy and open my mouth to introduce myself.

"Sarutobi Kayo!" Only, I was beaten to it.

Wincing at the very angry tone of Biwako's voice, I offered Obito a pained grin before twisting on heels to look at the approaching danger.

Biwako looked very upset, with a smug Asuma beside her, happily snacking on what was probably my chocolate bar. Not that I'd have gotten it now, considering I'd 'run off'.

"I'll see you at the academy Uchiha-san," was all I managed to get out before my Biwako's hand came down on my shoulder in a vice tight grip. There were times I forgot this woman was a shinobi. This was not one of those times.

Obito's cry of 'It's Obito! Not Uchiha-san!' was the last thing I heard before Biwako's following lecture about running off sent my head spinning.

* * *

><p><strong>So, I've had the first quarter of this chapter wrote up for the past few weeks, but with finals for university popping up, I haven't been able to get much done until now. But, hey, the chapter is done now, so here you go. <strong>

**A lot of people are asking me to update (insert story title here) at the moment, but it's really difficult for me to write for a story when I don't have any motivation or ideas regarding that specific one. I'm afraid I can only write for the story I feel in the mood to write for. Usually I have at least a half of a chapter wrote up, so when I do feel in the mood to add to that specific story, the update will be quick. So, please stick with me. ( **_Dear god I hope that made sense, it's too early for this_**)**

**Thoughts?**

**Tsume  
>xxx<strong>


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